Employee refuses to contribute $50 to a coworker's retirement gift, despite pressure from her colleagues, because Linda was cruel to her for 3 years: ‘My decision is final’

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  • AITJ for refusing I to chip in for a coworker's retirement gift after she was horrible to me for years?
  • My coworker Linda (63F) is retiring next month after 40 years at the company. HR is collecting money for a big retirement gift - they're asking for $50 per person to buy her a fancy watch.
  • Woman holding up her retirement celebration decorations.
  • Linda has been absolutely terrible to me (28F) since I started 3 years ago. She's made comments about my age, questioned my qualifications, undermined me in meetings, and generally treated me like I'm incompetent.
  • When the collection envelope came around I passed without contributing. My manager pulled me aside asking if I forgot. I said no, I'm choosing not to contribute.
  • Young woman feeling sassy in the office.
  • She looked shocked and said everyone contributes to retirement gifts. I said I don't feel comfortable giving $50 to someone who's been hostile to me for 3 years.
  • My manager said I'm being petty and holding grudges. I said it's not a grudge, it's choosing not to financially celebrate someone who made my work life miserable.
  • Now several coworkers are giving me looks. Someone left a sticky note on my desk saying "be the bigger person." The collection organizer came by again asking if I "reconsidered."
  • I told her my decision is final. She said it'll be obvious I didn't contribute when they announce the gift amount. I said that's fine.
  • My boyfriend thinks I should just contribute to avoid drama but I genuinely don't want to give money to someone who's been mean to me for years.
  • Senior woman at her desk for the last time before retiring.
  • TL;DR: Refusing to contribute $50 to retirement gift for coworker who's been horrible to me, everyone says I'm being petty and should contribute anyway.
  • femiryn They're not asking you to be the bigger person, they're asking you to subsidize their collective amnesia. Your $50 isn't a donation, it's a fee to pretend the workplace bullying never happened.
  • LavenderSharpie The company should buy the watch, not the fellow employees. Every one of you should have said NO.
  • OP Agitated-Result-4553 I agreed. This is also my take. If the company really wants to honer her 40 yes of service, that should come from them and not for other employees who are living paycheck to paycheck.. unless they have different gift?? But I couldn't care less lol
  • No-Bunch6895 Go to the ones giving you grief and ask them point blank if they ever said anything to Linda to stop her? Don't give in.
  • OP Agitated-Result-4553 That's a good point tbh.. when she was undermining me and making comments about everything about me to the point she may even complain me breathing, nobody stepped in for me. And now all of a sudden they expect me to be grateful for her? For what?? Lol
  • Emotional_Meet_7744 nah you're good, $50 is a lot of money to give to someone who made your life hell for 3 years. The whole "everyone contributes" thing is such BS - contributions should be voluntary not mandatory sounds like Linda's about to find out that being awful to people has consequences, even at her retirement party
  • OP Agitated-Result-4553 Exactly right?? They act like 50$ is something you'll just see on the ground.. and i don't understand why am i being obligated to celebrate to someone who treaded me bad?? I just can't comprehend
  • lunars_petal Yes! So tired of coworkers acting all moral when they've done nothing to stop the harassment. You're not petty, you're just not funding someone who made your life miserable.
  • Monachikos02 Why are the employees responsible for giving a retirement gift? Why isn't the company doing this?
  • SmaugTheHedgehog I would go straight to HR. This sounds potentially like a form of harassment/coercion/hostile work environment by the fact that they are spreading this to your colleagues and people are now leaving you notes. The manager calling you petty is crazy unprofessional and is in most states considered workplace bullying/harassment. Document everything- every look, every interaction, everything- and go to HR.
  • LavenderSharpie She worked for the COMPANY, she served the COMPANY, she did not work for or serve you. Peers should not be footing the bill of a retirement watch. HR needs to stop collecting. This is the responsibility of the COMPANY.
  • noct_level You're not being petty, you're being asked to financially subsidize your own bullying. The watch should have a note "For years of making my life hell. Enjoy retirement"
  • SassyFevers It shouldn't fall on us, and honestly, expecting everyone to chip in just enforces this weird "be nice or pay" culture.

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